Living the dream... I mean, adventure

This week we've had a lock out and a break in. We have laid in the pool, eaten Indian food, stayed up late watching reality TV... and called 911. My husband had to jump a spiked fence and we watched one of the most moving movies of my life. And I found a new way to live my passion.

First things first. Our rent house got robbed. It stunk. All they got was a bunch of copper wiring, but they did considerable damage to our air conditioner (outside and inside) and made a nice little mess that I'll have to clean up. But thankfully they didn't scratch my newly painted cabinets during all their debauchery and lowliness. Small wins, right?

The worst part was that it took the Fort Worth Police Department four hours to respond to our 911 call. FOUR HOURS. And since our AC was damaged and the house has no furniture, we had to sit in lawn chairs on the front porch in our work clothes, getting eaten by mosquitos and sweating in the humidity as we waited... and waited... and waited. It was a lot like camping, minus the camp fire, tent, or the soothing sound of crickets chirping. Apparently Wednesday nights are hopping nights for the Fort Worth police. We made our initial 911 call at 7:30 (right after the most lovely date with Mr. Right at our favorite Indian food restaurant) and the police finally rolled up at 11:15 p.m. On a work night. Lovely.

Crazy thing is, I feel total peace about this house. It's been on the market for two weeks and has already had a break-in, and yet I know deep in my soul that God is in control. He has proven in the past that he can take care of us and that he cares about the smallest details (I mean, he brought me the man of my dreams by way of Colorado and Oklahoma and somehow convinced him that he should drive 45 minutes to join a church he didn't have any connection with). I know he will prove faithful, and so we continue to thank the Lord for protecting our house from serious damage, for keeping us away during the break-in, and I know that when His time is right, that cute little house will sell.

Speaking of break-ins, my nextdoor neighbor at our OTHER house had their front door kicked in last week... while they were home. My sister also had her door kicked in about a month ago. Yikes. Good thing I have that intricate security system with the lasers like they have at the casinos in the Oceans 11 movies. One foul trigger and BAAAAM!

Back to our week...

We house sat for my parents this week, which meant we took full advantage of that wonderful pool in their backyard and the many cable channels on our TV that we're too thrifty to pay for. Being removed from our regular surroundings and without any house work to do felt like a mini retreat with Mr. Right, and we had such a wonderful time together. I feel like my batteries are recharged.

There was the one little snafu while house sitting where Mr. Right got locked out while taking the dogs out to use the bathroom at 6:00 a.m. during a rain storm, while I blissfully slept on the other side of the house. After ten minutes of pounding on the back door, he had to jump their 6-foot, wrought-iron fence (with spikes) and come around to bang on the front door until I (finally) heard him and let him in. Poor guy, he married a VERY sound sleeper.

I have a new favorite TV show - Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition. I love watching the one-year transformations... it's so much more gratifying than waiting an entire season of The Biggest Loser. It has replaced The Bachelorette as my very favorite reality show (this season is oh so boring).

And, we watched Hotel Rwanda. I'm now ready to move to Africa and adopt an orphan (or two). That was the most disturbing and moving movie I have ever seen, and it's just another way that my heart continues to spur for people living in far away places. I have to admit I had to cover my eyes on more than one occasion. You should watch it.

Speaking of people in far-away places, Mr. Right and I are getting ESL certified next month, and we plan to start teaching in the fall, most likely through our church or at a location that's brimming with internationals (we have our eye on one). I've had a heart for women's ministry for many years, and after retiring from teaching my beloved ladies' class at church when I got married, I've been praying that God would provide a new ministry for me that I could be as passionate about, while still supporting my husband in the class that he works with. I think I have found my answer, and I'm so excited! We sat in on a class last week, and my heart leapt with joy as I saw women from all different cultures sitting together, gaining practical skills that will help them thrive in their new home, but also being exposed to the gospel that has the ability to transform their lives.

I'm just giddy.

As for Project 115... the good news is that my pants continue to get looser by the week. The bad news is that I had to take a week off because our house sitting put me 30 minutes from work (instead of 5) and nowhere near my gym, so those 5:30 a.m. workouts were out. But I've still been watching my calories and I plan to pick up where I left off on Monday. Promise.

We have something really fun planned for this weekend. I'll give details next week.

Deleted Scenes

These need no explanation.

Not quite

Okay, I lied... no fabulous blogs from me today. You see, I just discovered this great new invention. It's called Movies on Demand on my cable. I can rent movies without ever having to leave my house! I don't have to worry about returning them (because we all know that I never can remember to return my movies), and there are hundreds to choose from! 

I was like a kid at Christmas... a sick, wheezy, tired and highly medicated kid who just so happened to get to watch any movie she wants on Christmas. Or something like that.

Train 'em up early

The Bachelor has become a bit of a tradition at my house. Some of my favorite memories with girlfriends throughout the years involve dinner parties while watching this show. I started watching with my college friends back in 2002, and now have graduated to my "big girl" married friends.  My good friend Tiff and I are both hopelessly hooked, and tonight we introduced her new baby Sevyn (about 6 weeks old) to her first girl bonding night with The Bachelor! Sevyn was just as upset as we were that Bachelor Jason has turned into a bit of a sleeze, but we all enjoyed yelling at the TV at the silly girls and all their drama. And we still love Jillian, even if she DID get the boot last week. 

And if you want some juicy Bachelor gossip, check this out.

I love Losers

No, this isn't a description of all my high school boyfriends... okay, maybe a few.

How come nobody told me about the greatness that is The Biggest Loser?! Since I have exhausted my Tivo and my entire movie collection (and all of the new releases at my neighborhood Blockbuster), I am now branching out and trying out LIVE television. I know. Crazy concept. I haven't seen LIVE television in at least two years.

This show is fantastic. Not only is it great drama, but the characters are so likeable, and they give nutrition and fitness tips before every commercial! This is helpful to me, the girl who thought she was dieting by eating massive amounts of pasta in high school. It's a good thing God blessed me with a good metabolism.

But anyway, that sweet show made me cry. Then again, it might be the meds.

And I must warn you, the deluge of blogs may continue for yet another day. Even though I feel significantly better, I still have a fever that just won't say no. Until that breaks, I'm still contagious, which means no work, no hanging out with friends, and LOT'S of free time. So here come the posts.

Perplexed

I am officially hooked on The Bachelor once again. I tried my darndest to stay away... to resist... to just say no. But alas, I wasn't strong enough. And now I am officially addicted.

But one thing has been bothering me about this show for years...

These folks go on all these fabulous dates. The dates usually involve drinking a lot of champagne. Red wine. White wine. Cheese. Strawberries dipped in chocolate. And then they wash it down with more red wine.

So when my hunky bachelor goes in for the big kiss, and all I can think about is how funky their breath must be at that moment! Because if I eat chocolate-covered strawberries and cheese, I get that funny after-taste. I never see these gals chew gum. So unless they're secretly popping mints that I can't see, I just have to know what their secret is!

Ahh... the magic of television.

Wisdom from The Office

"An office is not a place where people die. An office is a place where dreams come true." -Michael Scott

"I am so proud of the potential you see in me." -Michael Scott, to his boss

"This is why we do training. We learn from our mistakes. And now Dwight knows not to cut the face off a real person." -Michael Scott, to his boss

"I've got to make sure YouTube comes down to tape this." -Michael Scott

"If you've ever put sunblock on a window, you might be Michael Scott. If you ever called the fire department because your head was stuck in a chair, you might be Michael Scott." -Angela

"Sometimes, to get perspective, I like to think about a space man on a star, far, far away." -Michael Scott

I want to be a star

I watched two hours of Dancing with the Stars tonight. Can I just tell you that I want to be famous, simply so I can be a contestant on Dancing with the Stars? Unfortunately, odds are not in my favor... I'm not sure what a 27-year-old girl in suburbia with no unusual talents can do to become a big star. Somehow Kim Kardashian figured it out, but I'm not sure how I would go about getting a reality TV show. I think usually they pick people a bit more scandalous than me.

So I think my best option is to become a ballroom dancing champion. Then I can be one of the professional dancers on the show and get paired with some hunky soap opera star with big muscles and a small mind. And then I can wear the pretty dresses, flashy jewelry, have my hair done, and dance around like a big star while a crowd of admiring fans cheers me on.

Yes, I think I'll add it to my "to-do" list. Become a ballroom dancing champion. I can see it now... I better get to work.

Go ahead, stay at home

I’m so behind. This is a national holiday week, and I didn’t even buy a Hallmark card to mark the occasion! What will my friends think? Oh, what a social snafu.

According to ABC, this is National Stay At Home Week. It conveniently coincides with the premiere of the new television season. So just in case you had planned to have quality family time around the dinner table, volunteer for your neighborhood patrol group, feed the homeless or get some exercise…

You’ll have to cancel your plans! Pluck your favorite sweatpants from the bottom of your dirty clothes pile, plop yourself down on your couch, grab that bag of potato chips, and enjoy the greatness of Desperate Housewives, a six-hour marathon of Dancing with the Stars, Ugly Betty, Grey’s Anatomy, and that new family favorite, Opportunity Knocks (which looks dumb, but what do I know?). Watching TV is a whole lot better than reading with your kids, solving the energy crisis or ending world hunger. You can do that next week. This week is a holiday! Time to sit lazily on your rear end and be irresponsible! If not, I question your patriotism.

And for those of you who are a bit embarrassed that you forgot to buy me a gift for such a grand occasion... you can make up for it by leaving me a comment telling me which show(s) YOU can’t wait to watch this season! In case anybody is wondering... don't call me Thursday at 8:00 p.m., because I have a date with The Office.

Investigative Journalism

Has anybody else noticed that Joe Biden is from Scranton, Pennsylvania?

Olympics Fun

I really don't care about the Olympics. Yawn. They're so boring. In fact, some years I hate the Olympics--mostly in the winter when it interferes with my television watching.

But right now I'm so excited about Michael Phelps and his gold medals! It makes me proud to be an American. And it doesn't hurt that he has great muscles. I just can't stop watching (for the competition of course, not the muscles).

Go Team USA!

Bad Choice, DeAnna!

Last night I was all fired up by the TERRIBLE ending to The Bachelorette. I was blindsided by her decision to pick the slacker snowboarder instead of cute, clean-cut (and good-looking!) Jason. So I wrote a sassy blog about how stupid DeAnna is.

But now that it's been 24 hours, I realize that my blog was just mean. So I'm choosing not to post it. Besides, it's just a silly TV show. And she's just a silly girl. And watching people get rejected on national television may be fascinating, but I feel slightly guilty for enjoying it so much.

So I'll hold my tongue.

But I can't wait until next season.

Bachelorette--My Humble Prediction

Tomorrow's the finale of The Bachelorette, my current favorite show. I'm going on the record to say that I think she's going to pick Jason, the single dad. I may be biased, because Jessie, while he seems like a nice guy, reminds me of every slacker skater dude I went to high school with. And that just grosses me out. Besides, get a haircut.

So while I think Graham or Jeremy would have been a better choice, I'm cheering for you, Jason. Good luck!

Best TV

Have I mentioned how much I love LOVE The Bachelorette? It's fantastic TV!

It's like a total ethnographic study on dating. Kind of like studying rats in a maze. It's pure enjoyment.

New York and a small bag

I'm going to New York tomorrow to see a Yankee game! Hooray! I'm so unbelievably excited!

Of course, not excited enough to have started packing yet. And with school tonight until 9:00, and then a 2-hour special of The Bachelorette to watch on my Tivo after that, I need to get started on that packing NOW. Since we're only going for a few days, sister Sarah and I aren't going to check any bags so we can save our $15 surcharge for checked luggage. The only problem is, I pack more than any human being on earth EVERY time I go ANYWHERE. I'm a regular pack-mule, only cuter and sweeter. I could live for a week with what I bring in my bag every day to work, much less packing for an actual overnight trip. So this will be a nice challenge. Luckily, it's summertime, and shorts and tank tops don't take up much space. So we'll see if I can do it!

Random hilarity (at least, to me)

I was shopping at Target tonight, and heard the following page over the intercom:

"Pam Beasley, please report to Register 26. Pam Beasley, please report to Register 26."

It's good to have The Office back. Apparently I'm not the only one who thinks so.

Then tonight I saw this story on Yahoo. I love how superstitious all sports fans seem to be. Apparently when you put on the jersey, you check your sanity at the dugout. But I support anything to make the Yankees lose.

Office

The Office is back tomorrow! After six months of no new Jim love, he and the rest of the crew are back, and I can't wait! I'm supposed to have a watching party after my softball game tomorrow night, but my Tivo is on the blink, so we may be in trouble. Would it be inappropriate for me to skip my softball game to watch a TV show?

Random thoughts

1. I think my dog and I are allergic to the same things. He has been sick for a few days now, and tonight my throat started to hurt. Both of us are doped up on Benedryl... only I swallow mine and he takes his in peanut butter. I think we'll both sleep well from the drugs.

2. Tonight I stuffed 270 surveys and labeled 270 envelopes for my research project. It's the best kind of homework... the kind you can do while watching Dancing With The Stars. But it's not exactly glamorous. They definitely don't mention that part on the school's recruiting Web site.

3. Dancing With The Stars is like a bad cruise show performance. I feel like a 70-year old lady in a muumuu every time I watch it. And yet, I still watch.

4. Only six days until the Rangers' Opening Day (the season opener, not the home opener). They really should consider making Opening Day a federal holiday. I always take the day off work anyway, they might as well let the kids out of school and close the post office. I'm sure the mail man would like to watch the games. It may be the only day this season my Rangers are in first place.

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The Benedryl is starting to kick in, so I should sign off before I start hallucinating.